Re: 2014 Silly Season Thread

[BigDaddy24]

Third Eye Motorsports Expresses interest in PCC

Third Eye Motorsports team owner I.C. Yoo has announced interest in joining the PCC. The team will field 2 entries, 1 driven by Yoo himself and the other to be driven by Harry I. Ball.

[BigDaddy24]

3rd Eye Motorsports announces car numbers

3rd Eye Motorsports owner I.C. Yoo announced that the team will use the numbers 99 and 999 for the upcoming season. The 99 will be driven by Harry I. Ball and the 999 will be driven by team owner Yoo.

[Magus978]

Tom Delgado Racing Not Shutting Down Amidst Rumors, Downsizing Instead

Tom Delgado Racing announced that due to poor performance, they were downsizing to one car, and have come to terms with the buyout of A.J. Murphy's contract. He will leave the team at the end of the season.

"Due to our inability to make races, we have come up well short on our financial projections, and are forced to make significant cutbacks in order to avoid going into liquidation. Unfortunately, that means we have to let A.J. out of his contract. We wish him well in the future and hope that someday we can do business again" A statement from Tom Delgado Racing read.

It is now believed that the team will run car #36 on its own with Tom Delgado competing for rookie of the year honors. TDR is reportedly negotiating with Acura for more manufacturer support in hopes of improving their performances next season.

[Memoriesallbutdone]

Double B Motorsports looking to join PCC Cup Series in 2013 full-time with 3 cars

Barbara Burt is looking to open a team and join the PCC Cup Series full-time, along with two of her friends. She is coming from running desert races in her small town out in Arizona. She plans on driving the 366 Ford Mustang next season however, no word of whether or not sponsorship will be coming her way. Akio Gifu a Guam native, will be joining her driving the 466, again lacking some major sponsorship. Richard Hertz, driving the 566, will be sponsored by Boudreaux's Butt Paste. The 23 year old German is trying to help find his teammates sponsors. All three of them are entered as one-offs for the 2012 Cleveland Grand Prix.

[Syzygy]

Scientists warn of damaged space-time continuum

A recent article published by leading scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland have announced that continued testing of high-energy subatomic particles has damaged the space-time continuum and a time rip is imminent. One scientist was quoted as saying, "Shit, this time rip is going to happen here pretty soon, and there's nothing we can do to stop it. Coincidentially, it will last for only about a year from January 1st, 2013 to the 1st of 2014, during which time we will all be suspended in a white void. Fortunately, we are beginning to plan for the survival of the human race, and we believe that nothing will be damaged when the time rip does come to a close."


Yeah, I kinda realized it was bad that I'd be starting a 2013 season at the beginning of 2014, so I had to come up with a plot device to explain this.

[f1fan12]

Scientists warn of damaged space-time continuum

A recent article published by leading scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland have announced that continued testing of high-energy subatomic particles has damaged the space-time continuum and a time rip is imminent.  One scientist was quoted as saying, "Shit, this time rip is going to happen here pretty soon, and there's nothing we can do to stop it.  Coincidentially, it will last for only about a year from January 1st, 2013 to the 1st of 2014, during which time we will all be suspended in a white void.  Fortunately, we are beginning to plan for the survival of the human race, and we believe that nothing will be damaged when the time rip does come to a close."


Yeah, I kinda realized it was bad that I'd be starting a 2013 season at the beginning of 2014, so I had to come up with a plot device to explain this.

I thought a zombie apocalypse would cancel the 2013 season?

[gwoodard41]

Scientists warn of damaged space-time continuum

A recent article published by leading scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland have announced that continued testing of high-energy subatomic particles has damaged the space-time continuum and a time rip is imminent.  One scientist was quoted as saying, "Shit, this time rip is going to happen here pretty soon, and there's nothing we can do to stop it.  Coincidentially, it will last for only about a year from January 1st, 2013 to the 1st of 2014, during which time we will all be suspended in a white void.  Fortunately, we are beginning to plan for the survival of the human race, and we believe that nothing will be damaged when the time rip does come to a close."


Yeah, I kinda realized it was bad that I'd be starting a 2013 season at the beginning of 2014, so I had to come up with a plot device to explain this.

I thought a zombie apocalypse would cancel the 2013 season?

That was 2012 I believe. Everyone got better and only pockets of zombies remain.

[Electric Wolf]

Just say they had disputes with race organizers, track officials, sponsors, etc. Sorry for being a realist, I guess.

[Syzygy]

Just say they had disputes with race organizers, track officials, sponsors, etc. Sorry for being a realist, I guess.

Realism is dumb.

[day500champ1]

Just say they had disputes with race organizers, track officials, sponsors, etc. Sorry for being a realist, I guess.

Realism is dumb.

Realism in the PCC Cup Series? Casey how long have you been here?

[Mother of Invention]

Hetzel confirms team sale.

David Hetzel announced today that he's sold his team effective immediately. The person buying the team has been identified as Canadian entrepreneur Theo Jeffries, owner of Electronic Company ETHO-Labs. Driving for Jeffries is  Candian Sports Car driver Alex Pausington  of Vancouver, and next season he will be joined ex-Formula Alpha Test Driver VinnY Leboeuf. Sponsorship is coming from Jeffries company along with Beatrice Meats, a long time supporter of LeBoeuf.

[Syzygy]

Tire War erupting next season?

It appears that a tire war is flaring up in the PCC Cup Series for the 2014 season.  Goodyear, Bridgestone, Michelin, Cooper, and Duckroll are reported to be developing their own tires for next season, which will affect how each car drives on certain kinds of tracks.

(OOC: Tire choice will now affect ratings!)

[gwoodard41]

Tire War erupting next season?

It appears that a tire war is flaring up in the PCC Cup Series for the 2014 season.  Goodyear, Bridgestone, Michelin, Cooper, and Duckroll are reported to be developing their own tires for next season, which will affect how each car drives on certain kinds of tracks.

(OOC: Tire choice will now affect ratings!)

It's ironic how I mentioned a tire war for another league and it affecting chassis ratings a couple of weeks ago and this pops up... This ought to be interesting

[bsoyuz]

New Manufacturer and Team joining in next season

The Kanako Motor Company Inc. showed interest on joining the PCC Cup Series, and after searching for a team that could join the series, they found the small Macena Motorsports, now rebranded to Macena/Kanako Racing Inc. The team owner/driver Gabriel Macena showed up interest in joining the series and they had sponsorship.

Gbariel Macena will drive the all-new Kanako Sora(sky);sponsored by Clutch-Aid. He'll be in the #177
Dirk D'Agostino will be with the Trunk Fresh #334
Ruby Oaks will be with the Easy Idle #515
Misti Motorkrass will drive the Vitoline Fuel #747

The team already announced that will use cars with Bridgestone Tires.

[f1fan12]

Gallagher looking for top tier ride next year

Brian Gallagher has expressed interest in retiring and becoming a team owner. However if he can get a top tier ride he say, "I will sure to come back as a driver." He has been decent in his two seasons of PCC Cup Series... the former runner-up in the Indianapolis 500 however is open to a part time ride. "Some of these tracks are just not worth the risk... Really, Zarklon 9? However I am looking at running Cleveland, Road Atlanta, maybe a European race... and if I am stupid enough Talladega. However if I come back full time, I want to be with an elite team that I can win a race with. Something I haven't done yet in the PCC Cup Series." Gallagher is leaving Paloma Autosport at the end of the year.

[Syzygy]

Ryan Jefferies OUT at Johnson Racing, Sam Brown to retire

News broke earlier today after final practice at Charlotte that Ryan Jefferies, once the lead driver at Johnson Racing, will not be retained by the team for 2014. Team owner Rick Johnson said, "We strive to have our team near the front of the pack at all times, and Jefferies just hasn't done that for us this year. Fortunately, his manager has already secured him a ride for next season, and we wish him luck in his future endeavors." The likely replacement driver is superstar test driver Tom Wilson, who has started a few races this season in the #81 for Johnson Racing.

Sam Brown, driver of the #71 Matco Tools/Merrick Biotech Chevrolet for Johnson Racing, has announced that he will step down from driving and will take up a managerial position at the team. He personally announced his successor would be current PCC Lites points leader Alex Phillips, a development driver for Johnson Racing who will make his first PCC Cup Series start in relief of Lenny Jacobs in the #52 Paloma Autosport Saar.

Officials announce 21st race date

The PCC Cup Series will make one more stop in the United States before travelling to Europe, making a stop at the newly-constructed Eight Bowl Superspeedway in California. PCC Cup Series President John Kowalski was quoted as saying, "Our market share on the West Coast has fallen to unacceptable levels, we need a race there to boost our viewership and rule the world give the fans what they want to see: More superspeedway racing!"

[Memoriesallbutdone]

Barbara Burt gets major sponsorship for 2014!

Preparation H, the well known hemorrhoid treatment, is going to be sponsoring Barbara Burt and her car in 2014, giving her a much needed boost in the way of sponsorship and money. "Now hopefully, we can focus more on the tire issue which is now a complete crapshoot." - said Burt

[gwoodard41]

Phoenix Performance Racing has chosen which tire brand it will use

The Team will be using Michelin Tires going into the 2014 season.

[Nascar9fan]

Wicked Energy leaving Australian Motorsports, Red Bull becomes Jones' new sponsor
Whilst Mother & Rockstar Energy will remain with the team (& their respective drivers), Wicked Energy has confirmed it's not returning to the team for 2014. Red Bull has jumped in to take the place of Wicked, & will become Jones' new sponsor in 2014. Jones will also change from number 58 to number 9 for the 2014 season, whilst Marshall & Bracchi will keep the number's 18 & 19. The team will keep running the Chevrolet Monte Carlo in 2014

[bsoyuz]

Macena/Kanako Racing announce 2014 part-time deals:

The Macena/Kanako Racing announced their part-time schedules. Each car will enter in 7 events in this sequence: Dirk D'Agostino; Misti Motorkrass and Ruby Oaks.

[f1fan12]

Two Team's Rumored in fight for Gallagher

Well, two team's are reported in being interested in Brian Gallagher... The first is Great Lakes Motorsports, based in Michigan. Great Lakes Motorsports looks like could contend for a championship if they have a driver who is a consistent force. The other team, which I really am not sure about, is Griffith... However Griffith has been looking to European Drivers for quite some time. So I would take that with a grain of salt.

Elias, Korodovos expected to return with their teams.

Both Ian Elias and Nicholas Korodovos are expected to return to their respected teams. Korodovos has been the main competition to Manticore Engineering in 2012. Elias' start of the season looked great, until it all unraveled as the season progressed. There was a wild rumor that Korodovos could have been signed by Manticore, however Korodovos responded, "If Manticore would actually be interested in hiring me, I would tell someone to dump a bucket of water on me to wake me up."

Tlas Klyvixcismaxiblya announces intention to race in PCC Cup Race on Zarklon XII


Tlas Klyvixcismaxiblya, the Zarklon XII Animal racing champion intends to race in the PCC Cup Series when it comes to Zarklon XII. He confirmed this rumor by saying, "IUrjklfhdfyerer owerierlkfhsdjvbbvegiweurh hdjkfsdkfbsdgukh kjsdhfuyuerhkasdfjb skhjghurtyuier jksgfty uiwyhsdjkfbh sjdgayutrfyuaweiryweithsjgbnmdfbg uielasdkhjei u wehjkdsfn sdkseiowru sdfh" Which translates to, "Yes I will race in the Earthling Car Racing League." Klyvixcismaxiblya is also married the princess of Zarklon XII, and is reported to demand the execution of any person who beats him in the Animal racing championship.

[bsoyuz]

Macena/Kanako Racing being rebranded before new season start

Gabriel Macena showed anger after testing with the Kanako Sora, and declared that before the new season start he could rebrand the team and change the manufacturer.
"That car is awful, it's ugly and I don't like it so much, you can't drive well on it, I would change the make after Cleveland one-offs" - declared Macena to the press.

[f1fan12]

Gabriel Macena exiting PCC Cup Series before next season start?

Gabriel Macena declared that he could race on the FARC Elite Series in 2014. Nothing is confirmed until now, but he also stated that if he would go to ARLA, his sister Julianna would run in his place, and he would race part-time sharing the car with Misti Motokrass.

ARLA and PCC Cup Series don't exist in the same universe... So you can race them both at the same time.

[bsoyuz]

Gabriel Macena exiting PCC Cup Series before next season start?

Gabriel Macena declared that he could race on the FARC Elite Series in 2014. Nothing is confirmed until now, but he also stated that if he would go to ARLA, his sister Julianna would run in his place, and he would race part-time sharing the car with Misti Motokrass.

ARLA and PCC Cup Series don't exist in the same universe... So you can race them both at the same time.

Yay!!!!

[f1fan12]

Gallagher confirmed at Griffith, sponsored by Japanese media franchise

Brian Gallagher has been confirmed to drive the 49, Griffith Motorsports Katzev. The 27 year old Gallagher, who formally was runner up in the Indianapolis 500 also confirmed his sponsor will be Japanese children's media franchise, Pokémon. Gallagher was unavailable for comment, however it is expected that he has a lifetime supply of Pokémon gear at his Ohio home. Odds are, Griffith Motorsports realized that there are less Road Courses in 2014, and well they needed an oval racer. Gallagher is still hunting for his first PCC Cup win.

Elias pushes Kowalski for Australian race

Australian Ian Elias is pushing for a PCC Cup Series race in Australia. Elias says, "(Kowalski) want's to take over the world, broaden the audience of the series. Well Australia has at least 3 drivers full time next year, and the series is being covered on tape delay over there. And I think an Australian race could help Kowalski attain his goal of automotive racing series, supremacy." There was no reply from PCC office's on if Elias' comments are being considered.

[Spannerhead29 (Nelson)]

Gallagher confirmed at Griffith, sponsored by Japanese media franchise

Brian Gallagher has been confirmed to drive the 49, Griffith Motorsports Katzev. The 27 year old Gallagher, who formally was runner up in the Indianapolis 500 also confirmed his sponsor will be Japanese children's media franchise, Pokémon. Gallagher was unavailable for comment, however it is expected that he has a lifetime supply of Pokémon gear at his Ohio home. Odds are, Griffith Motorsports realized that there are less Road Courses in 2014, and well they needed an oval racer. Gallagher is still hunting for his first PCC Cup win.

Elias pushes Kowalski for Australian race

Australian Ian Elias is pushing for a PCC Cup Series race in Australia. Elias says, "(Kowalski) want's to take over the world, broaden the audience of the series. Well Australia has at least 3 drivers full time next year, and the series is being covered on tape delay over there. And I think an Australian race could help Kowalski attain his goal of automotive racing series, supremacy." There was no reply from PCC office's on if Elias' comments are being considered.

>Forgetting my drivers.

There's 6 next year.

[Nascar9fan]

Gallagher confirmed at Griffith, sponsored by Japanese media franchise

Brian Gallagher has been confirmed to drive the 49, Griffith Motorsports Katzev. The 27 year old Gallagher, who formally was runner up in the Indianapolis 500 also confirmed his sponsor will be Japanese children's media franchise, Pokémon. Gallagher was unavailable for comment, however it is expected that he has a lifetime supply of Pokémon gear at his Ohio home. Odds are, Griffith Motorsports realized that there are less Road Courses in 2014, and well they needed an oval racer. Gallagher is still hunting for his first PCC Cup win.

Elias pushes Kowalski for Australian race

Australian Ian Elias is pushing for a PCC Cup Series race in Australia. Elias says, "(Kowalski) want's to take over the world, broaden the audience of the series. Well Australia has at least 3 drivers full time next year, and the series is being covered on tape delay over there. And I think an Australian race could help Kowalski attain his goal of automotive racing series, supremacy." There was no reply from PCC office's on if Elias' comments are being considered.

>Forgetting my drivers.

There's 6 next year.

Well, 5, since Michael Grant doesn't have a full time drive, & John Bracchi is Italian. Btw, Marshall, Jones & Bracchi don't have their nationalities listed on the team charts

[Mother of Invention]

Team Canada confirms number and manufacturer.


Team Canada president Theo Jeffries announced that his team will be allying itself with the Lenard Motor Company. Jeffries, the billionaire owner of EthoLabs, said he thinks Lenard gives the best bang for the buck and has a very helpful company. Jeffries also announced that they will not keep the number they have currently, but will run #00. Tire choice was also announced as the team will run Michelin's for 2013.

New team announces intent to run part-time.


Successful North Carolina businessman John Horton Jr, has announced he intends to start a PCC Cup team. Horton announced the creation of XYZ Racing on his blog. Horton is the heir to the  "Horton Brass Knuckle Manufacturing Company" No word on any other info for the team.

[SnakePlissken]

Vincent Captures 2013 Crown!

Stringfellow Vincent won the bizarre 2013 PCC Cup championship in strange fashion. The championship was Vincent's second, but his first with Retro80 Racing. It was Retro80 Racing's first championship as well.
"The time really flew by this year," stated a stoic Vincent. "It feels like it almost never happened. I'm really looking forward to 2014 now."
  It was a banner year for Retro80 as Vincent barely edged out teammate Pete Maverick for the championship. Richard Dean MacGyver made it a clean sweep for Retro80 claiming the third spot in the overall points championship. It may be the first time in PCC Cup history that one team claimed the top three spots.

Spoiler:

[Alpineopossum]

Taylor Confirms Sponsorship Package, Return to Winsalot Still Unconfirmed

Cameron Taylor did not announce whether he will remain at Winsalot Motorsports, but he did announce a new sponsorship package. The Ohio native will have a package of sponsors to promote his home state. JobsOhio, an inicitive to entice businesses to come to the state will be a primary sponsor, as will Discover Ohio, the state's tourism agency. "I'm delighted to be a part of promoting my home state. It's a great place to live, work, and play, and it's good to get the word out about that." The new car is expected to be red and white, but this remains unconfirmed. Taylor seems poised to return to the #77 car, but this is also yet to be confirmed.

[Tigerman]

WestFall looks to enter
WestFall Motorsports will enter a Ford for the 2014season . One car will be entered numbered 58 and sponsored by Dish Network. It will possibly compete full time, no announcement on this until next week.

[RACECAR]

Camyron Jackson Racing to contest 2014 season, possibly with Michelin

After not a word being spoken, CJR announces their participation for the 2014 season and one look at their list of partners shows a interesting addition in the form of Michelin, leading some to speculate that the team is switching Tire Manufacterers. Nothing official has been confirmed as of yet.

[Backmarker]

Prestige Motorsports Confirms Drivers, Sponsors

Prestige Motorsports has confirmed their tentative lineup for the 2014 season; as previously reported, Richard Scott will drive the 27 car, with sponsorship from Vitaminwater and Dodge. The #33 car will be driven by Randy Barnett with sponsorship from Natural Light, along with Australian Leandra Entwistle, sponsored by Telstra. Barnett will drive the 33 car in races in North America, with Entwistle competing in the other rounds.

The team also stated that they will not be competing on Zarklon XII, but hopes to negotiate with another team so that Scott can run the complete schedule.

The team will use Michelin tires.

[kriswascher97]

Are triple numbers allowed in PCC?

[f1fan12]

Yes Last I checked...

[kriswascher97]

New Team to Bring in Rookie

Wascher Motorsports and rookie Kris Wascher from Michigan, is looking forward to the 2014 PCC Cup season if they're qualified to do so. Wascher has plenty of experience in series that aren't part of the TM and PCC Canon.
Wascher will drive the 906 Red Bull Chevy Impala.


aka. What mod is this?

[Backmarker]

New Team to Bring in Rookie

Wascher Motorsports and rookie Kris Wascher from Michigan, is looking forward to the 2014 PCC Cup season if they're qualified to do so. Wascher has plenty of experience in series that aren't part of the TM and PCC Canon.
Wascher will drive the 906 Red Bull Chevy Camaro.


aka. What mod is this?

Original Cup.

[kriswascher97]

hope i get accepted

[bsoyuz]

Macena/Kanako racing rebrands: Gabriel Macena announced today that his team will be rebranded to Macena Motorsports. He also announced that they would join the PCC Series using Jaguars or Saars.He also stated that he would change his number to 238 and already signed a full-time sponsorship deal with White Holdings and will share it with UniSanis Healthcare.

[Alpineopossum]

Ohio University Fraternity to Open Team

A new entry has emerged on the PCC Cup Series scene. The Gamma Alpha Phi Delta Omega fraternity has purchased a old car from Mesa Speedway Racing to use in the PCC Cup Series next year.

"I heard the, like, PCC Cup Series was, like, coming to the Ohiiiio Motor Speedway a few years back and I like said, heck yeah dawg, we gotta do that sh*t," said heavily intoxicated team principal Charles L. "Biff" Pennington. No announcements have been made as far as drivers, but the team hired GT driver Nicky Espinosa to shake down the car at the Mohican road course. When asked if Espinosa would be driving for the team next year, Peter "Barfy" Canfield stated "no man. That dude ain't in our frat 'cause he, like, wouldn't do The Ceremony." A former fraternity member told sources that "The Ceremony" involved beer and human feces, but no confirmation of this was available. The fraternity's Ohio University chapter will be running the team. The team has also signed a major sponsorship deal with Natural Light.

[Backmarker]

Prestige Motorsports has withdrawn its PCC Cup bid after several major financial backers left at the last minute. It is rumored that this may be the result of unsatisfactory speeds when the team tested at Pocono recently.

D&S Automotive has also canceled their plans in order to focus their resources towards other series.

[day500champ1]

GLM signs Griffin to drive #44 full time in 2014

After a short somewhat successful run a couple of races, Ryan Griffin and GLM have signed a deal for Griffin to drive the team's #44 Mopar entry for 2014. Griffin had flirted with the idea of driving his own part-time entry, but was not able to secure sponsorship. The deal is for 1 year and Mopar will return to sponsor the car. Dodge will also return as the manufacture as well.

[SnakePlissken]

Retro80 Racing - For special events/one offs:

#81 - Hinkley Scarbury (USA) -- Greatest American Hero Sandwich
#82 - Sean Spicoli (USA) -- High & Fast Times/Mi-T Mart
#83 - Marc Donovan (USA) -- Friendship is Universal

Delta City Racing:

#87 - Murphy Weller (USA) -- Omni Consumer Products
#209 - Ed Boddicker (USA) -- Omni Consumer Products

[Cynon]

Manticore Engineering Yet to Finalize Drivers, Sponsor, and Manufacturer

Despite only just losing the PCC Cup Driver's Championship, Manticore Engineering has been hard at work revitalizing the team in preparation for the upcoming season. While the team has campaigned the Lexus ISF in previous seasons, there are reports that the team is looking to Germany for a manufacturer to align with.

Interestingly, the team has not confirmed any of its drivers for the upcoming season, however, Quebecois driver Clair Auxier is expected to return to the team as lead driver. Auxier supposedly received a few other offers from other teams, but reportedly turned them all down. Swedish driver Klara Kindahl could possibly return to the second Manticore Engineering car, but the team is entertaining offers from other up-and-coming drivers. Louis Bellard is still under contract to the team, but he reportedly is not being allowed to drive anything except crappy EA Sports games in a dark corner of the team's base where nobody except the rats and security cameras will notice him.

Manticore Engineering also confirmed that their relationship with JK Racing will continue in much the same fashion as it has in previous seasons, possibly with two cars instead of just one, depending on circumstances.

The team also has not yet confirmed any of their sponsors, but a source in the team said to expect "very bright colors" from Manticore Engineering. This could mean that the team has officially declared war on the retinas of the spectators, or it could mean that their cars might just be very colorful.

[bsoyuz]

Gabriel Macena Racing announces their lineup for 2014

Manufacturer: Jaguar
Tire Choice: Michelin

Full-Time Drivers lineup:

#999 - Gabriel Macena - Braskem

Part-Time Drivers:

#000 - Aoi Mizushima - Canon
#555 - Isabella Macena - Unsponsored

[LadyKathy]

Williams Racing Team Secures Sponsorship

Williams Racing Team has secured sponsorship from Norwegian oil and gas company Statoil as primary sponsor for the 002 of Ingrid Haddeland, and associate sponsor for the 93 of Laras Ryu, as well as funding from commercial vehicle manufacturer Scania for the 93 car.

[Mccc457]

Pentilex Racing plans to enter PCC Cup Series
A small company, run by two brothers, based in Atlanta, Georgia, plans to enter the PCC Cup with one of their own models, the Pentilex Genesis. Their driver Jordan Demis had had experience with touring series, and some other stock car series. "We hope to run a successful, compete season, without too many drama moments. We knew this series was going to be tough, and we have brought out our most legendary model to bring to the plate", the Team owner announces. The car they are bringing in the new model of the Genesis, and had only appeared in a blurry CGI render ( see picture above). Jordan Demis will be their driver for this series. It will be a one car team until money starts looking right. The team plans to run a full season.

[Syzygy]

Just a quick reminder for those who have not sent me anything, cars and ratings are due tomorrow, 3/23/2014, at 11:59pm EST.

[Alpineopossum]

"Dale Died for our Sins"  

That may be the funniest thing I've ever read in a silly season thread.

[Alpineopossum]

Gamma Alpha Phi Delta Omega Announces Lights Campaign, Bins Camaro at Mohican

The fortunes of the team owned by Gamma Alpha Phi Delta Omega took a turn for the worse Saturday when disaster struck the team while conducting a test session at the challenging Mohican Road Course. The team was warned by other drivers that the track, considered one of the more challenging of America's road courses, was not a good place to test amateur drivers, but the "bros" would have none of it.

The test started off smoothly enough when an as yet unnamed professional driver shook down the car. However, things took a nosedive with fraternity brother Howard "Rico" Davidson took the wheel of the Natural Light Chevrolet Camaro they bought used from Team Psycho, which competed full time in the series with Dana Jerpak in 2011. The following is "Rico"'s account of the subsequent events.

"Maaaan I was all hopped up on them natties when the road started to, like, uh, you know, get all wobbly and sh*t. And I tried to, uh, rub my eyes but they were in the helmet, so you know man, I, uh, couldn't like rub them...you hear me bro? Like there was glass or somethin' between my, like, hand and the eyes man. Anyway next thin' I know I feel like I'm gettin some air when I hit the, uh, water."

Davidson was "driving" through a fast section of the course when he failed to notice a somewhat sharp right hand turn and plunged into the Clear Fork River. The Sports Management Major received only superficial injuries and was released from a local hospital, after which he headed to Buffalo Wild Wings in Loudonville and ordered a Bud Light. Their car, which had been hastily outfitted with Natural Light sponsorship is undergoing repairs.

[Sponsored content]