Fictional Sponsors Thread

[Ceej]

I just realized that we've gone without this thread on the new forum. This is a travesty that must be corrected now.

So, post your sponsor suggestions. NOW.

DO IT.

[Rovenami]

Carson Systems Inc.

[SnakePlissken]

"The Patty Wagon" -- a burger joint with a jail/prison theme.

I wish we could transfer the old thread over here...

[gwoodard41]

Jumpstart Batteries
Flatt's Fixers
Pixel Paints
Inquire Web Browser
Vidten Game Consoles
Trident Foods
Coop's House of Laughs
Showdown Studios
Broken Idea Productions (Broken Lightbulb Logo)
Bombardment Games
Grammy's Homestyle Buffet
Guardian Web Security
Paladin Safes
First Bank of Terra
Cosmos
Slam Energy Drink
Blastoff Fuel (or Fuel Booster, IDC which)
IWantIt Online Shopping (Amazon spoof)
L3375P3AK (LeetSpeak... Teamspeak/Ventrilo Spoof)
Vamoose Tours
Skyline Watches
Gambit Poker Tournament
XD Comics
Looney Bin
Sap Caps

[Nascar9fan]

Mountain Energy Drink (with 150 laps of Dwyer logo)

BMW (Better Movie Works)

[PackerMan71]

Here's the link to the old forum's fictional sponsors...

[Chives2112]

Fowl Play! (a chain of chicken restaurants at various sporting events)

[Alpineopossum]

Racoon Creek Outfitters
Or in WV, NC, AL and North Ridgeville
'Coon 'Crick Outfitters

Byall-Means Loans

Sublime Subprine Mortages

The Law Offices of Dewey Suehim & Howe (I think a real life friend of mine came up with that)

The Clique Club - Jersey based night club

[frisky]

Loco Hot Sauce
Moose Jaw Chew
Sahara Shocks
Hi-Fi Video Rental

[SnakePlissken]

"Super Fuzz Tennis Balls"

"Bottle of Whine"

"Cougars" -- a nightclub for older women looking for younger men. RRRAAAOOOHHH!

The Law Offices of Dewey Suehim & Howe (I think a real life friend of mine came up with that)

I remember it from the 3 Stooges as "Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe" as well as "Dewey, Burnham, and Howe." I'm pretty sure I had those on the older board, but don't feel like digging around looking for it!

[Nascar9fan]

FBI - Full blooded Italian (An Italian restaurant with Italian style dishes, nothing else)

[gwoodard41]

House of DSL
Cookie's Home Cookin'

[frisky]

Decay Away Toothpaste
Al's Apple Cider
Glutton Potato Chips
Koala Kola
Flapjack's (similar to IHOP)

[Rykia]

Not off the wall, could be a TM Equivalent, but Marksman, fic version of Bass Pro/Tracker

[SnakePlissken]

"Golphin," "Golphun," "Golfin," or "Golfun" -- logo will be a dolphin with a golf club head for a tail.

[Cynon]

Rubber-Dub-Dub Pancake Batter. Call it an expansion in the business...

[Jahgee1124]

Team Dwyrfan Racing

[SnakePlissken]

"Zit Happens" -- an anti-pimple cream.

[Syzygy]

The Church of St. Creeper
McCreeper's
Endy's
The Station Nightclub
Domino Creeper's
Creeper Hut
Long John Silverfish
Ceej's Apartment Complex of Chaos
Derp's Bar and Grill
Fatgado's Revenge Parlor
Rutanaville Boat Emporium
Church of St. Ender
Bungaree Barbecued Kangaroo

[GamerAzuzu]

Marigars Port-A-Party services.

[Alpineopossum]

1-800-UWANTUBID
Core Sit Wedding Dresses
Rence Brown School of Cartography
The Snorting Sword - Bullfighting themed Restrauent

[gwoodard41]

Hungry Goat Lawn Care
Mirac Outfitters
Davy Jones Seafood
Bender's Grill and Bar
Shooter's Extreme Sports

[BJ Falcon]

Hmm. Davy Jones Seafood. Davey Jones Locker Whiskey. I wonder if there's any connection to this?

[Jahgee1124]

LingerA+: Nerdy Lingerie
Hall of Stalls: Toilets for rich people

[Chives2112]

LingerA+: Nerdy Lingerie
Hall of Stalls: Toilets for rich people

[Jahgee1124]

Talk of the Devil: Devil's Food Cake Review site
Deal With It Pro: High quality sunglasses store

[SnakePlissken]

"What the Puck" -- a hockey themed sporting goods store/bar/restaurant

[Jahgee1124]

Utter Awesomeness: Dairy MegaMarket
The Buck Stops Here: Hunting SuperStore

[SnakePlissken]

"R U Game?" -- A video game retail store.

[gwoodard41]

Hmm. Davy Jones Seafood. Davey Jones Locker Whiskey. I wonder if there's any connection to this?

No, I thought of Davy Jones and being related to the Sea, so, Seafood, nothing to do with his gym locker or his sweat... flavored whiskey.

Anyway:

Blowout Audio Systems
Watchit (youtube parody)
Gafyo Soda
Sparkle Cleaners
Headbanger Memory Supplement

[SnakePlissken]

"Scalpers" -- A place to buy/sell event tickets and get a haircut!

[leon13]

Pizza Barn
Pizza City
Diarhea Pizzeria

[leon13]

im using Pizza Barn hopfully

[SnakePlissken]

"Cow Patties" -- A hamburger joint! Yum!

[gwoodard41]

Nova Wireless
One-Stop (Wal-Mart Parody)
Liberty Tires
ARN (Auto Racing Network)
Velocity Racing Engines

[day500champ1]

"Rush"-An Energy Shot similar to Five Hour Energy. (Name is a play on sugar rush).

[Jahgee1124]

Hangover, What Hangover: Non-Alcoholic Drinks
Can-Am Maple: Syrup Market
Egyptian Fantasy: High Quality Cat Food
Napoleon's Pockets: Single Serving Cup of Tater Tots w/ Ketchup

[gwoodard41]

Hangover, What Hangover: Non-Alcoholic Drinks
Can-Am Maple: Syrup Market
Egyptian Fantasy: High Quality Cat Food
Napoleon's Pockets: Single Serving Cup of Tater Tots w/ Ketchup

No, no Napoleon Dynamite based Sponsors GAH!

JK

[GamerAzuzu]

Seri-O's Cereal. With the taste to die for!

[SnakePlissken]

"Mr. Tea"

[day500champ1]

"Mr. Tea"

"Hannibal Cigars" - for people who love it when a plan comes together.

[SnakePlissken]

"The A-Tea" mmmm. Good

[gwoodard41]

Sierra Mountain Outfitters: Outdoor/Camping/Hunting Store

[SnakePlissken]

"Thwartz!" -- Thwart warts with Thwartz!

[Jahgee1124]

Guinning: Penguin themed Merchandise

[Jahgee1124]

VidMe: Video Twitter

[gwoodard41]

VidMe: Video Twitter Skype

Fixed

[SnakePlissken]

"Pees & Cues" -- a place to drink, urinate, and play billiards.

[SnakePlissken]

"Cottonmouth Wash" -- a snake related breath refresher

"Demonstruate/Demonstruation" -- a tampon or mood enhancer for "that time of the month"

"SpinDragun Rotors"

[SnakePlissken]

Thought I'd transfer my suggestions from the older board. It turned out to be a bigger pain than I thought it'd be, but for now:

"Choppers"-- it could be some kind of dental product. maybe the logo could incorporate a set of teeth on a motorcycle?

unEqual sweetner -- (loaded with calories)

Guitar Goat -- (as opposed to Hero)

Pizza Hovel

Radio Shanty

Dollar Corporal

Android Poultry

"Seamonkey's Land Animal Aquatic Park"

K.Swiss Cheese footwear -- wear it, then eat it!

"Bar Stools" -- absorbent bladder control protection cushions

or

"Stool Pigeon" -- stool softener for constipation

Play Pen -- men's magazine

"Wife Beater's Maid Service" -- Slogan: We'll beat your wife's cleaning guaranteed or your money back!

"Throw in the Towel" -- laundry service

"Leg and Shovel" -- baking soda

How about adding some fictional driver names too: "Richard Gear"

Panda-monium

or

"Gougeco" Insurance Company -- it could have a salamander on the logo. or a rhino or bull?

"Spongeworthy" -- contraceptives for women

"California Racin's" (remember the old claymation raisin commercials with "Heard it through the Grapevine?)

"Charlie's Driveshafts" -- any Lost fans here?

"Sqiures of Magellan" -- play on Knight's of Columbus

"Serf Boreds" -- sticking to a Medievel theme?

"Pleatherface's Stump Removal" -- not talking tree stumps here Shocked

"Grisly Detail Shop" or "Grizzly Detail Shop"


"Inconvenient Mart"[/quote]

"Lecter's Fine Cuisine"-- come sample the fava beans with a nice Chianti

"Shake & Bake -- Ice Cream & Spud Emporium"

"Hans Gruber Devices"

from Hawaii:
"Luau Sender's Delivery Service" or "Luau Cinder's Block Company" or use "Luau Cinder" as a driver name too.

"Phishing Expedition" -- an advertisement for a scammer's how-to guide on hooking the big one.

"Mobile Johns" -- a take on the old 'Port-a-Potty' this time they're on wheels. the potential users have to chase them down. that would be a logo to behold.

"Rex's Toadhouse" -- possible restaurant serving the best frog legs?!

"Meltdown Anti-Freeze" --a nuclear reactor logo?

"Emoticon Valley" -- envision a car plastered with every conceivable emoticon possible.

"Flatt's Tires" -- would you buy from this guy?

"Blind Squirrel Nuts"

[/quote]

"A Million Bucks" -- a hunting supply and sporting goods chain. I see the logo as an upscale looking deer dressed sorta like the "Monopoly Man" with a top hat and monocle.

"Pipsqueak Noise Supressor" -- a WD-40 type of lubricant

"Web of Deceit" -- an identity theft prevention program

"Scapegoats" -- a company that steps in to take the blame for mistakes.

"Landscape goats" -- a survey company and petting zoo.

Driver name: "Lance Boyle"

"Pass Gas and Deli"

"Passing Gas" -- name brand high octane racing fuel

oh, and since we're on the subject:

Electronic Farts

hoped for a better pic but you get the idea.

"Squealing Tires" -- a possible competitor for Rubber-Dub-Dub?


"Flying Pig" -- reminded me of the winged foot Goodyear logo


"Knuckle's Sandwich Shoppe"


"Check -N- Out" -- your one stop shop station for either/and or a quickie loan or rapid burial parlor.

"Bass Holes Fishin' Supply"

"Ricochet Robinson's School of Competitive Driving" -- from an N2 bio.

"Quasi Motors" -- either a car dealership or an engine builder--any Notre Dame or hunchback fans out there?

"Drunken Chimpanzee Safe Driving School" -- with a nod to Cynon.

"Crude's Oil and Petroleum" -- for either a big conglomerate or a small chain?

"Fonzarelli's Coolant" -- Aaaayyyyyeeee! Happy Days are here again. Thumbs up!

"Mork's Egg Emporium" -- nanu nanu

"Paul's Bunion Removal" -- all we need is a big blue ox.

"Ernest T. Bass Pro Shop"

"Aunt Bee's Kerosene Cucumbers"

"Motor Psychos" -- I can't claim this one, it was a biker gang on an episode of Perfect Strangers but it could be used as several different kinds of sponsors or as an engine builder.

"Jimmy's Pagers" -- any Led Zeppelin fans?

"Pink Flood Insurance" -- The (flood) Wall.

"The Gas Station" -- a flatulence clinic.

"Scotland Yard Maintenance" -- a Clip 'Em competitor?

"Sherlock Home Security" -- almost said "Invasion" instead...

"The Way I Roll" -- a new brand of toilet paper.

"Rocker Arms" -- a sponsor that offers a variety of uses: valves, music, guns and they can be intermixed too.

"On Cue" -- a billiard supply outlet.

"The Nut House" -- a 1 stop shop for all your goober needs. (Nascarboy426)

"Legume-A-Beach"

How about some superhero sponsors?

Bat-, Spider-, Super-, Hawk-, Pastic-, Iron-, and so on -manifolds

The Human Torque wrenches

Mr. Fantastic Window Cleaner

Green Horn-ets

The Thing-y Mabobs

Green Lantern headlights

The Flash Sparkplugs

"Leake's Radiators"

"Clampett Oil"

"T-Bone's Wrecker Service"

"Foot -N- Mouth Disease Clinic"


"Tai Cheese"


"Tae Kwon Do-nuts"


"Trophy Wife" -- many interesting possibilities for this one.

"Tossing Your Cookies"

"The Cake Crusader"

Found this site and thought it might be helpful:
http://www.mahalo.com/Best_Fictional_Brands

"The Gleaming Cube" -- a sk8 park and/or shop

"Set the Tone" -- a ringtone specialty website/store

"Site for Sore Eyes" -- website where the settings are geared to reduce eye irritants or for special needs customers

"ZOOMBRA"


"Dragon Your Feet" -- an athlete's foot product


TirADE -- a sports drink specifically designed for the ill-tempered athlete. if Tom Delgado isn't a pitchman for this product already, they need to sign him to a lucrative deal quick


"Sky High Filling Station" -- what better name with the high price of gas!

"MPG Fuel Stop" --

"All Charged Up!" -- a place for electric/hybrid cars to "fuel."

"Ocu-leer" -- binoculars for peeping Toms, stalkers, and other lurid activities

"Cash Cow"
either or

"Family Jewelers"


"Field Fillers" -- a fertilizer company? or maybe a Miracle Gro type product?

"Mad Cow Motorcycles"


"Food Ex" -- short for "Food Express"-- a "meal on wheels" service company



"The Potty Train" -- and you'll notice it already has the #2 on it!

"The Animal House" -- a national vet clinic/pet supply chain
the car could look like this:

and the driver this:


French OW race team name: Kart Blanche

"Car-beraters" -- when your car breaks down and you're too tired to scold it-- call "Car-beraters" and they'll come do it for you!

"Dewey, Cheatam, & Howe" -- a law firm i think i heard used on an old 3 Stooges episode. several variations of the middle name spelling: Cheatem, Cheetem, Cheetham, Cheatum, Cheatham among others
also: "Dewey, Burnham, and Howe"

"Burnt (Burned or Burning) Rubber" -- a tire manufacturer? or a brand of condoms?


"Lotharios" -- a male enhancement breakfast cereal that is composed of enzyte, cialis, viagra, and the like type products.

or maybe:

"Lothario Rake Company"



"Spanish Fly" -- an international airline with a funky flair: gives new meaning to "mile high"


or

"Spanish Flies" -- an international sports team

"Souped Up" -- a soup kitchen with a racing theme. I'm thinking "The Soup Nazi" or a canned soup you can get at the supermarket.

"Affleck Insurance Company" -- insuring you when your career goes into the toilet.
quack quack

"Skull and Bones" -- a head trauma clinic.




Bonus driver name: Roger Jolly

"Carrion Luggage" -- luggage made from the carcasses of a dead animals.


a sponsored race:
The Backyard 400

"Apnea Mattress Co."

"Gleusundheit! Adhesive/Glue" -- a German glue. tagline: "Your glue choice is nothing to sneeze at!"

"Butterface Modeling Agency" -- think "Bleh" from Drawn Together.

looking for a sponsor for an American flag scheme? look no further:
"Paper Football League"


or maybe:



"Hall of Frame" -- a fine framing store


"Mistreated Lumber"

"Murphy Law Firm"

"Neo-Matrix Computer Programs"

Drivers: Claude Hammer, Locutus Borg, Kobayashi Maru.

"De'Ja VooDoo" or "Talla-De'Ja Vu"

"We Got Your Back" -- a Chiropractic Center

"Turd-le Wax" -- a novelty shop for all of your fake poo/vomit needs.

Driver: "Dean Wormer"

"Welcome Back Cotter Pins"

This was suggested to me as either a compliment to or as an adversary for the Anti Monkey Butt car:


"Accordion Hero"

the driver's last name just has to be Yankovic!

"ManBearPig Souvenir Shop"


"B9 Tumor Clinics"

"Bite Me Attack Dog Training"


or
"Bite Me Shark Cage Tours"



"B.O.M.B.! Squad" -- stands for "Body Oil Massage Baby!" -- some sort of a spa/massage parlor-- slogan: "When you drop a B.O.M.B. on somebody, they'll love you for it!"

"Fowl Play Chicken Ranch"


"Diesel Weasel" -- a fuel additive that helps improve diesel engine milage.


"Yeti Anti-Freeze"

"Abominable Ninja Stars"


"Scut Farkus School for Bullies"


"Brazilian Wax Museum"

"Skin Cells" -- a cell phone cover store

"Buck's Tooth Emporium"

"Little Black Dress Shop"

"Hackenkoff's Phlegm Throwers"


"Couch Potatos" -- a restaurant where you can get baked, whipped, or fried!


"Car Keys" -- a lot that sells slightly/moderately damaged cars that have been "keyed."

"Miss Match Dating Service" -- mismatch-- get it?!


"Blazing Saddles Hemorrhoid Ointment"

"Rabbit Punch"


"Tapp's Bottled Water"


"House Money Casinos"


"A-FLICK-tion" or

"A-FLIX-ion"
-- a movie rental store similar to Blockbuster

"Rumble Strips" -- a beef jerky or gummy type (Fruit Roll Ups) of candy product. could even be a race themed gentleman's club...

"Racing Stripes" -- a chewing gum that has ARLA/TMMC car colors imprinted on it.

"Shear Lunacy"

"BackSplash Toilet Seats"

driver name for the BackSplash Toilet Seats car: Tery Dysen (Terry Dyson).

"Major Beef Steakhouse" -- needs a cow in military attire for the logo.

"Logan's Runners" -- a courier service


"Plastic Surgery Center" -- Don't trust human doctors? Have your procedure done by a real Plastic Surgeon!


Flight
Attendant/
Stewardess
Training


"Flipping the Bird" -- an acrobatic school for our "fine, feathered friends."

"Get Lost! GPS Units"


"Cast Straight Fishing School"


some of you will get the double entendre of this one and some won't...

"Barth's Burgery"

anybody remember where this is from?
go here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_FJBoC33Gg&feature=related

or here:

http://www.barthsburgery.com/

"Lard Lad Donuts"


"Re-Tire Plaza" -- a used tire shop where retreads go to die.

"The Driver's Seat" -- several company ideas spring to mind for this one, but a tagline like "We put you in the driver's seat" seems appropriate for some kind of financial institution among others.

"Muff's Place" -- possibly a combination Muffler/Muffin shop and a triple entendre!!

"Seedy's Dive" -- a farm store specializing in seed(s).

"Fly By Night" -- a delivery service with a dubious reputation.

"Cobb's All Natural Toilet Tissue" -- slogan: "Aw shucks! We're the best."


"1 Horse Power" -- a handsome cab ride company


"A Glockwork Orange" -- a gun store

"A Glockwork Orange" alternate logo:

"Glock-N-Schpeal" -- another gun related sponsor logo I made up


"Double Take Cloning Facility"


"Dublin Downs" -- an Irish themed casino.


"Minne-Soda" -- a regional soft drink from the North Star state.



"Amish Country Crude" -- if Quaker can have a state oil, why not?!


"Staley's Day Old Bread"

"Scrubbles" -- a scrubbing bubbles type cleaner or body wash.


"Strutin' Around" -- a brand of struts.

"Auto-Matic Car Wash"


"The Whiner's Circle"


"Letterbox" -- a double entendre for a Netflix type of company that only rents widescreen films. then you throw your movie returns into the mail.


"Transmissions from Space"

or simply "Space Transmissions" would work just as well.

"Cattle-ina Dressing" -- tagline: "Beef up the taste of your salad!"
[/quote]

"Ant-ennas" or "Aunt Tenna's Antennas"



"You Want A Piece Of Me Cake Factory"



[/quote]

About halfway through... some I'm stopping for now... maybe permanently... who knows?!

[Sponsored content]