2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet

Goooood evening, ladies and gentleman, and welcome to the 2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet, coming to you live from the Golden Nugget in beautiful downtown Las Vegas, Nevada!

Please give a big round of applause for our first music act of the evening, Canadian rock heroes Triumph!

The fact you have Triumph in this banquet earns you 10 points in my book.

Triumph ftmf'nw.

Someone tell Mr. Dudding that he is in a tow away zone. The hotel fountain is not a valid parking spot and besides, it looks like his Yugo is beginning to take on water.

*A camera zooms in on the empty seat that would have been filled by Tom Delgado. Instead a bucket of chicken and a can of Smash Beer occupy the chair*

pepsibottle1 wrote:Triumph ftmf'nw.

Someone tell Mr. Dudding that he is in a tow away zone. The hotel fountain is not a valid parking spot and besides, it looks like his Yugo TTE is beginning to take on water.

Fixed it for you.

day500champ1 wrote:The fact you have Triumph in this banquet earns you 10 points in my book.

pepsibottle1 wrote:Triumph ftmf'nw.

(OOC: One of the most underrated bands, in my opinion.)

All right, let's get started with tonight's banquet. Here is your host, Mr. James Spalding!

(applause)

SPALDING: Thank you. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, we're here to honor the top drivers of the ARLA Elite Series 2011 season. But before we continue, let's take a moment of silence and remember TM Master Cup Series driver and TM Junior Series Champion Scott Hamilton, who passed away a few months ago in Brazil. May he rest in peace.










All right, let's start tonight's festivities by revealing the Fan's Choice Awards Fail Category: the five awards that nobody wants to win. Music, please.



BITTER PILLS WORST RACE OF THE YEAR: This one was a bit of a surprise. I certainly thought it was an entertaining event, but the fans said that Verdugo was the worst race of the year. Maybe they just didn't like the hairpin turn...

REJECT OF THE YEAR, ARLA LEAST POPULAR DRIVER, & ARLA LEAST POPULAR TEAM: We have all of these awards grouped together because they revolve around one person: Derek Dudding and his team, awsum super cool an awsome racin. Big surprise there... ...not. And I've learned that starting next year, Derek Dudding is no longer eligible for the fail awards. Probably because he'd win them every year.

OOPS! MEDICAL CENTERS FAIL OF THE YEAR: This one sort of snuck up on us. We all thought Dudding would get this one too, but no. It was Laura Cyrus backing up into traffic at Darlington that stuck out in the fans minds. Maybe she thought they would see her reverse lights.

We're gonna take a real quick commercial break, and we'll be back with more of the 2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet in a moment.

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Commercial 1:

Tom, mind if I steal a beer? Thanks!

*grabs 4 Smash Beer bottles and walks back to seat*

*From a hospital bed in New York with the ARLA Elite Series awards show on TV, Tom Delgado quietly rages when he sees Matt Brinson steal his beer*

Welcome back to the 2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet. It's time to begin awarding the points trophies. Due to the new twinbill format, the top 20 in points will be honored starting this year. Here's #20...

(Canadian Idiot by "Weird" Al Yankovic begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 20TH PLACE FINISHER: He came from an automotive family, but is the first in his family to race. He was a test driver for Xenos before they broke into the ARLA Elite Series in 2009, when he became their full-time driver. He earned his first career victory at Rovenami, Finland, and finished 4th in the points standings. Even though he didn't make it back to victory lane this season, he still earned 2 top 5s and 5 top 10s. This is his second ARLA points trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #46 Xenos for Xenos Development, from Aaron Arm, Newfoundland, Canada...

Leigh Gruell!!

(Ceej, you're first.)

(Leaving a space here for Ceej to put Gruell's speech in.)

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Congratulations to Leigh Gruell.

Alright, it's time to award the first of the good FCA awards...

NEON HARDWARE BEST RACE OF THE YEAR: This one was extremely close between the Decatur Dash, the 150 Laps of Dwyer, and the Rockford 200. In the end, the Decatur Dash ended up winning this award due to the thrilling battle in race 2 between Amy Patti, Matas Kazimeras, and Lucas Sweeney, with Amy Patti taking her first career win in thrilling fashion. It's a shame Decatur won't be on the schedule next year, because it produced some terrific racing this year.

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Moving on to our next top 20 finisher, our other Canadian to make it to the stage...

(Canadian National Anthem begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 19TH PLACE FINISHER: He and his brother Mike both made their ARLA Elite Series debuts for Last Row Autosport, and came very close to victory a few times, especially at Waltham, where they scored top 3 finishes in their respective races. With 3 top 5s, 5 top 10s, and leading 9 laps, this will be his first appearance to the stage. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #611 Juneau for Last Row Autosport, from Canada...

Nick Howard!!

(Dan Mackay, you're up.)

Our apologies, folks. We've been told that Nick Howard has not shown up to the banquet yet, so we will proceed. If he comes in, we will allow him to make his speech. But, anyway, moving on to our next FCA award, this award is given to the best mano-a-mano matchup of the year...

STOMP! BRAKES RIVALRY OF THE YEAR: This was another close vote, particularly because we had so many rivalries to choose from, but in the end, it was Joseph Howard vs. Tyson Lautenschlager who wins this year's award, due to the fact that they had more than one run-in this season.

Here is Joseph Howard and Tyson Lautenschlager!

(Cynon, PKligBKfan, you're up.)

(All right, I've waited three days, and we need to continue on.)

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(Lautenschlager and Howard receive their trophies, shake hands with Spalding, then returned to their seats.)

SPALDING: Congratulations to Joseph Howard and Tyson Lautenschlager. Wow, what a mouthful.

Alright, it's time for our next top 20 points award, and it goes to what I think is one of the most underrated drivers in ARLA...

(The Distance by Cake begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 18TH PLACE FINISHER: A longtime mainstay at Ultra Fury Racing, he has somehow managed to make it to the stage every year, it seems. Even though he didn't win this year, he managed 1 top 5, 3 top 10s, and led 19 laps. Sadly, he and UFR will be moving to a part-time schedule next year, due to funding issues, but we hope to see them return to full-time action in the future. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #03 Cromwell for Ultra Fury Racing, from Altamont, Utah...

Dale Underwood!!

(Ceej is back up, if he feels like it... )

(Leaving a space for Dale Underwood's speech.)

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Congratulations to Dale Underwood.

It's time for our next FCA award, and a lot of fans certainly knew who to vote for this award...

MORTAR HEARTBREAK OF THE YEAR: Well, he had a shot at making history at Talladega at being the only driver to win 2 races in just 2 starts, but Grant Papp was dumped out of the draft by Allie Riggs and wound up finishing 10th, which certainly didn't earn Allie Riggs any fans.

Here is the winner of the Heartbreak of the Year Award, Mr. Grant Papp!

(Leaving a space for Grant Papp's speech)

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Congratulations to Grant Papp.

For our next points trophy, I believe this is this driver's first appearance on the stage...

(Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 17TH PLACE FINISHER: This driver really impressed in his first season of his racing career, becoming the youngest winner of the ATCC with 4 wins and 7 podiums. Better was to come in 2008 as he stormed off to take the title at only the midpoint of the season. It was during this season when he was scouted by Jerry Motta, owner of Team Whiper, to come to the US and race for his team. When Des Inman stepped out of the #149 car, it took a while for the team to get used to their new driver, but in 2011, they found their stride. Even though they didn't make it to victory, he came very close at Las Vegas when he finished 2nd. He scored 4 top 5 and top 10 finishes, 2 poles, and led 90 laps. This will be his first ARLA points trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #149 Gasnier for Whiper-Ildest Racing, from the Land Down Under, Australia...

Gary DeSouza!!

(teamwhiper, you're up.)

DeSouza's award speech

"Well,we did well,considering the resources we had.I would also like to say that the team did a fantastic job, everything worked out almost according to plan.I would say that we had a fantastic year and I am looking forward to the next one."

Congratulations to Gary DeSouza.

It's time for our next FCA. Who had the most spectacular crash of 2011?

GOLDEN LIGHTNING BODYWERKS SMASH OF THE YEAR: This was also a close contest, but in the end, the post-Decatur debacle of Ebenezer Quiggles, Jr. and Nico Petrov have earned them their first FCA award.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ebenezer Quiggles, Jr. and Nico Petrov!

(SnakePlissken & Woody, you're up.)

PackerMan71 wrote:Ladies and gentlemen, Ebenezer Quiggles, Jr. and Nico Petrov!

(SnakePlissken & Woody, you're up.)

Sorry Pack, but neither of those drivers are mine.

I think Nico Petrov belongs to Woody. I seriously thought Quiggles belonged to you. Sooooooo..... who DOES he belong to?

PackerMan71 wrote:I think Nico Petrov belongs to Woody. I seriously thought Quiggles belonged to you. Sooooooo..... who DOES he belong to?

Pretty sure he's Cooper's.

(Actually, it's one of Cynon's friends who came up with Quiggles. Just found that out. At any rate, we need to move along, so if Cy wants to edit Quiggles' speech in, he may do so.)

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(Ebenezer Quiggles and Nico Petrov receive their trophies, shake hands with Spalding, and return to their seats.)

Congratulations to Ebenezer Quiggles and Nico Petrov.

We're gonna hand out one more points trophy before our next commercial break. At #16, certainly one of the most popular drivers on the ARLA circuit, and he will be moving to the TM Master Cup Series next season...

(Heat of the Moment by Asia begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 16TH PLACE FINISHER: It was only a few short years ago when this driver was just another unknown trying to leave his mark on the racing world, and by the end of his 2009 ARLA Elite Series rookie season, he was the most popular driver and the inventor of what is now known as the Bronco Buster Burnout. Here in 2011, he came close to victory several times before finally breaking through and earning his second career win at Watkins Glen. He made his milestone 50th career start at Rockford, all as an owner/driver. He will be heading to the TM Master Cup Series next year for his first full-time season, driving for the Volpi Racing Team. He will be sorely missed in the ARLA Elite Series. His 2011 campaign saw him earn 1 win, 2 top 5s, 5 top 10s, and he led 73 laps. This will be his second consecutive ARLA points trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #71 Grape Soup Volpi for Gravity Racing, Incorporated, from Columbus, Ohio...

Packer Carroll!!

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(Packer walks up to the podium to a fairly large roar from the crowd.)

PACKER: Thank you, everyone. Well, what a roller coaster ride, eh? This all started back in 2009 when my team was just a single car operation and I was just another driver trying to make a name for myself. And now, three years later, look at what my team has become. We've been through a lot of hardship this past three years, but we've survived and thrived, and made this our best season to date. And despite the fact I broke my wrist early in the year, I didn't give up, and our efforts have led us back up here on the stage. Although I didn't really contend for the championship like I did last year, I feel like with the line-up we have now, I think we're a threat for the championship next year. I'd like to thank all the fans who supported me for the three years I was here in ARLA, and I hope you will continue to support me in the TM Master Cup Series. Thanks for having me, and Todd, take care of my ride, would ya?

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Congratulations to Packer Carroll. We've gotta take a real quick commercial break, and we'll be right back with more of the 2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet in a moment.

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Commercial 2:

Daniel Leckliter to Scott Morales

Daniel: "hey, $50 says that you won't pull a Kanye on Allie Riggs"

Scott: "how about no."

Hello, and welcome back to the 2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet.

Before we give out our next award, it's time for some entertainment. We have the Georgia Wrestling Circuit here today to give us a fatal 4-way match for one of their titles. So let's sit back and enjoy the ride...

(OOC: Some backyard wrestling matches on YouTube generally suck, but this one is actually pretty good. And yes, it says AWS, but they changed it to GWC for some reason. )

Pretty good match, eh?

It's time for our next FCA award, and frankly, this one was over WAAAAAAAYYYY early...

ROBERTO MORENO AWARD: The substitute driver of the year usually has landslide winners, but wow, this one was over before it even began. Of course, when you take over a ride and immediately win 2 races, it shows you have great potential. And by the way, this is the second straight time someone has taken over the #3 GRI car and won this award.

Here is your winner, the new driver of the #71 Grape Soup Kivett in 2012, Mr. Todd Wodarczyk!

(Leaving a space for Wodarczyk's speech.)

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Congratulations to Todd Wodarczyk.

It's time to award our next top 20 points trophy. At #15, she is considered one of the legendary short trackers in the country...

(Slow Ride by Foghat begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 15TH PLACE FINISHER: The matriarch of the Riggs racing family, which also consists of her daughters Allie and Leslie Riggs, she is considered to be one of the legendary short track drivers of the western United States, holding more than 300 victories and 8 championships in the ARLA Street Stocks. She currently drives her trademark #67 car for M&J Racing in the ARLA Elite Series and continues to compete in Street Stock races when possible. In 2011, she scored 1 top 5, 2 top 10s, 2 poles, and led 85 laps. This will be her second ARLA Elite Series points trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #67 O&D Pharmaceuticals SAAR for M&J Racing, from Buffalo, Wyoming...

Brenda Riggs!!

*random guy runs on stage drunk* F*** THE POLICE COMING STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND *jumps into crowd and fails miserably at being caught*

(Leaving a space for Brenda Riggs' speech)

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Congratulations to Brenda Riggs.

Also, we've just been informed that White Mountain Motorsports drivers Ricky Flush and CJ Cameron are not gonna be able to make it to the banquet this evening. Apparently, their plane had to make an emergency landing and ended up in the middle of a cow pasture somewhere, but we wish them well, wherever they are.

Alright, for our next FCA award, this is awarded to the underdog driver scoring a big win over the giants of ARLA...

ZAP! LEMON-LIME SODA UPSET OF THE YEAR: There were several candidates for this award, but the one that stuck out in people's minds was St. Petersburg, when a Katzev made it to victory lane, driven by a relatively unknown driver from South Africa named Mumba Kumangu. And he almost won again at Alberta, which would've been incredible.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Mumba Kumangu!

(Is hect still around? 'Cause it's his turn.)

Mumba Kumangu: Thank you for the award, sir, though I am Zambian, not South African. For your acknowledgment I have brought as a gift, some fried mopane worms.

hect wrote:Mumba Kumangu: Thank you for the award, sir, though I am Zambian, not South African. For your acknowledgment I have brought as a gift, some fried mopane worms.

LolWhoopz. My bad. Congratulations to Mr. Mumba Kumangu.

It's time for our next points award. Here's #14...

(Stargazer by Blood Stain Child begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 14TH PLACE FINISHER: He was a surprise pick when Chris Johaanes selected him to drive the #64 SAAR after Bobby Porteau departed for the TM Master Cup Series. At first he was seen as a pay-driver since he was bringing sponsorship from RedLine Internet Service, however by finishing in the top 5 in the Rookie Shootout, people have seen that he can drive one of the most known cars in ARLA. He has proven to be able to perform well, coming within inches of winning his first race in Talladega before being beating down the line by Allie Riggs. He would get his due eventually, dominating race 2 at Buffalo Downs for his first career win. He added a second win at Darlington, ensuring that he is more than capable of getting the job done in one of ARLA's most famous rides. He earned 2 wins, 4 top 5s, 6 top 10s, and led 152 laps in 2011. This will be his first ARLA points trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #64 SAAR Eagle for M&J Racing, from Wilmington, California...

Michael Madrigal!!

(GamerAzuzu, you're up.)

*Michael would step up to the podium taking a bow before speaking*

"Thank you, James. It's been a year hasn't it? This time last year I was barely holding on to a job after a disastrous Thunder Trucks season, and I was VERY surprised when Chris gave me a call for the ride. I'm going to admit I had this feeling in the back of my mind that, quite a few people thought I didn't belong there, let alone the 64 of all rides. So I set myself on a mission, to prove them wrong. ..I think my finishes, my points position and my two wins say enough for me. Now that I've proven I do belong in ARLA's highest levels, and in one of it's most famous rides, I'm hoping I can take it a step further in the future with this team, and bring it another title in our foreseeable future. Thank you everyone!"

*Michael would step down from the stage back to his seat with applause*

Congratulations to Michael Madrigal.

All right, it's time to give out one of the most pretigious FCA awards. That's right...

ARLA MOST POPULAR DRIVER: The last two years, we've had a couple of surprise winners of this award. In 2009, Packer Carroll was voted MPD due to his teniacious desire to succeed despite being just a one car operation at the time, along with his Bronco Buster victory celebration being very big with the fans. And he is still one of ARLA's most popular drivers today. In 2010, Lance Andrews was the winner of the MPD, probably due to the fact that he FINALLY broke through and got his very first career win in the TM Master Cup Series after almost 20 years.

Here in 2011, a very familiar name has once again earned the MPD, and hopefully, she can stay injury free in 2012. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 ARLA Most Popular Driver, Miss Leslie Riggs!!

(Leaving a space for Leslie Riggs' speech.)

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Congratulations to Leslie Riggs.

It's time for our next points award, and it goes to another first time winner. Here is #14...

(Six Million Dollar Man Theme begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 13TH PLACE FINISHER: A longtime mainstay in Power Steering, Inc's ARLA program, this driver couldn't seem to put a good enough run together to get to victory. That all changed at Waltham, when he, after 4 long years, finally went to victory lane. He also had a consistent enough season to earn his first ARLA points trophy, with 1 win, 6 top 5s, 7 top 10s, 2 poles, and led 17 laps. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #14 SasqWATCH JD Predator for Power Steering, Incorporated, from Yakima, Washington...

Bigsby Foote!!

(All right, Snake, I think this guy's yours.... or is it?)

Foote walks up to the podium as the applause continues.

"Thank you. Thanks everyone. Wow. What can I say? Umm, did you get a load of all the giant gas bags we've had up here tonight? [crowd laughter] I mean, seriously, have you guys heard any more long winded, rambling, incoherent speeches in your life?! Some people seem to like the sound of their own voices a little too much tonight. [said in an obviously humorously tone] [More laughter] Get to the point people!

I was introduced as a "[i]longtime mainstay." Wow. I never thought about it in those terms, but yeah, I guess that's true. With the way driver's get the boot in ARLA, you'd think Paul Teutel Sr. was running the series. [laughter] I mean seriously, some guys get the boot before they ever get into the cars! [hoots and whistles]
Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone at PSI-- William Power of course, all my teammates and members of the crew for helping me "breakthrough" this season. I'm going to miss the Predator-- what ever happened to that Dalton investigation anyway?! [Oooos and Ahhhhs] It just seemed to **cough cough** disappear. [more laughter] Anyway, again thanks a lot and I hope to be back up here next year. See that's how you keep it short and sweet!" Foote says as he hoists his trophy above his head one handed as he exits the stage.

Congratulations to Bigsby Foote.

It's time for our next FCA award, the award filled with controversy...

COMMERCIAL-B-GONE MOST CONTROVERSIAL MOMENT OF 2011: This one came as a bit of a surprise. We all thought it would've been either Randy McFlasher or Derek Dudding with their antics, but instead, it was Cletus McGuffie's DWI at Mosport that took home the top honors, although in my opinion, controversy may not necessarily be a good thing for your career, especially if it involves drinking and driving.

Moving on, for our next points trophy, we have the winningest driver in ARLA history coming to the stage. Here is #12...

(Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 12TH PLACE FINISHER: This driver is THE ARLA legend, as its most prolific champion and winningest driver of all time, with 4 championships and 60 career victories. This season, he didn't get back to victory lane, but his consistency has earned him yet another trip to the stage, with 4 top 5s, 5 top 10s, and leading 8 laps. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #2 Smash Beer SAAR Tyrant for Pearson/Sweeney Motorsports, from Westlake, Louisiana...

Andy Pearson!!

(Leaving a space for Andy Pearson's speech)

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Congratulations to Andy Pearson.

Our next two FCAs are gonna focus on the teams of the ARLA Elite Series. First up...

SODA WORLD TEAM OF THE YEAR: Well, with 7 wins, all 5 drivers in the top 20 in points, and Kevin Monroe winning the championship, it's no surprise that M&J Racing ran away with this award in the voting. Here to accept the award, here are the owners of M&J Racing, Chris Johaanes and Kevin Monroe!

(Leaving a space for Kevin Monroe and Chris Johaanes' speech.)

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Congratulations to M&J Racing.

We're gonna do one more points award and one more FCA award before we go to commercial break. At #11...

(USA National Anthem begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 11TH PLACE FINISHER: This driver used to be an Army drill sergeant before making the jump to a racing career, which has seen considerable success, with 2 career wins in the ARLA Elite Series. In 2011, he had 5 top 5s, 7 top 10s, and led 46 laps. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #45 Freedumb Missiles Tremwell for Riggs Motorsports, from the good old U. S. of A...

Harry S. Enola!!

(Cooper... Cooper... your turn... )

PackerMan71 wrote:(Leaving a space for ??????'s speech.)

This was Bigsby Foote being sarcastic when he said:

Umm, did you get a load of all the giant gas bags we've had up here tonight? [crowd laughter] I mean, seriously, have you guys heard any more long winded, rambling, incoherent speeches in your life?! Some people seem to like the sound of their own voices a little too much tonight. [said in an obviously humorously tone] [More laughter] Get to the point people!

(Leaving a space for Harry Enola's speech. @Snake - Yeah, tell me about it. )

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Congratulations to Harry Enola.

We have one more award to give out before we reach the halfway point of the banquet tonight. This is one of our newest FCA awards, and it's a big one...

ARLA MOST POPULAR TEAM: This one is like the Most Popular Driver award, except this one focuses on the teams. This one was very competitive, but in the end, much like its owner did in 2009, Gravity Racing, Inc. has earned the first ever Most Popular Team award. Here to accept the award on the team's behalf, the owner of Gravity Racing, Inc., Packer Carroll!

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(Packer walks back up to the podium to a large roar from the crowd.)

PACKER: Well, first of all, I'd like to thank all the fans who voted for my team. They made this possible here tonight. But this award doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the engineers, the technicians, the engine builders, and everyone else that's involved in building the race cars we have at GRI. If it hadn't been for their dedication and determination over the last three years, this team would not be where it is today. We started as a single car operation just trying to make a name for ourselves, and now we're one of the powerhouse teams in the ARLA Elite Series. We've got a great line-up at our team, and hopefully, next year, we'll be bringing home the championship trophy. Thank you.

(Packer walks back to his seat to another round of applause from the crowd.)

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Congratulations to Packer Carroll and Gravity Racing, Inc.

We're gonna take a real quick commercial break, and we'll be back with the second half of the 2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet in a moment.

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Commercial 3:

Hello, and welcome back to the 2011 ARLA Elite Series Awards Banquet. To start the second half of our banquet, it's time to begin awarding the top 10 points trophies. Here is #10...

ARLA ELITE SERIES 10TH PLACE FINISHER: He is an American racecar driver best known for winning the TM Master Cup Series championship three times, each in a different decade. He currently races for MRD Motorsports in the ARLA Elite Series. During his days in the TM Master Cup Series, Howard drove for some of the biggest teams in the sport, but he won all three of his championships while driving for McCallister Motorsports. Fans recognized him for his #17 and for his yellow cars, which continues to this day. In 2011, he scored 1 win, 3 top 5s, 8 top 10s, 2 poles, and led 107 laps. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #17 Luce Industrial Lighting Nemoto for MRD Motorsports, from Des Moines, Iowa...

Joseph Howard!!

(Leaving a space for Joseph Howard's speech.)

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Congratulations to Joseph Howard.

It's now time for another one of our new FCA awards, and this one was a no-brainer...

BLACK MAMBA ENERGY DRINK PASS OF THE YEAR: There was no question in the fans' eyes on this one. Amy Patti's spectacular pass at Decatur was certainly one of the highlights of the season, and that battle between Patti, Lucas Sweeney and Matas Kazimeras also helped Decatur win the Race of the Year award.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Amy Patti!

(Magus978, I believe this is your character, right?)

Yes, it is.

*Tom Delgado appears on the video wall, as this appears to be a pre-taped message before his heart attack*

Tom: No, I didn't turn into a woman. *laughs* Anyway, Amy asked me to do this and accept the award on her behalf as she is not able to attend the banquet tonight due to family-related commitments. She did a great job of winning us that Decatur race this season, the entire MRD Motorsports family wishes Amy well in everything she does in the future, and the entire MRD Motorsports family is happy to accept this award on her behalf. We'll make sure she gets it. Thank you very much.

Congratulations to Amy Patti, and a special thanks to Tom Delgado, who also couldn't be with us here tonight. We wish them the very best.

We announced earlier that our 9th place finisher, Ricky Flush, and his teammate, 6th place finisher CJ Cameron, will not be able to join us here this evening, so we will skip on to our 8th place finisher...

(Jurassic Park Theme begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 8TH PLACE FINISHER: Much like his teammate Bigsby Foote, this driver is also a longtime member of Power Steering, Inc., and also got his first career win this season at Elk Ridge. His 1 victory, 4 top 5s, 7 top 10s, 2 poles, and 107 laps led have given him his first ARLA points trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #16 Human Pit Viper JD Predator for Power Steering, Incorporated, from Yuma, Arizona...

Rip Tyler!!

(Snake, it's your turn again.)

(Leaving a space for Rip Tyler's speech. Sorry, Snake. Can't wait anymore.)

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Congratulations to Rip Tyler.

All right, this next FCA will be the last one given out on its own, and it's another of our new awards...

BROWN SHORTS LAXATIVES DODGE OF THE YEAR: This one came down to the wire, but in the end, we had something of an upset. AJ Young, with his dodge at Texas, earns his first FCA award, which is a bit of a surprise considering his reputation on the circuit.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. AJ Young!

Random fan watching the banquet on TV:
"Man this banquet is taking forever. These guys are just going on and on."

(Leaving a space for AJ Young's speech.)

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Congratulations to AJ Young.

We still have some FCA awards to give out, but the drivers that have earned them will also be receiving a points trophy as well, so we will present all the awards they've won at once, so they don't have to keep running back and forth to the stage.

Anywho, here's #7...

(Wandering Eye by Savlonic begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 7TH PLACE FINISHER: This driver is the first amputee to have won a race in ARLA competition; he lost his right arm several years ago, but he refuses to tell anyone what happened (although he was once heard muttering "That monkey is going to pay" after walking away from a reporter who had asked him what happened to his arm).

He formerly competed in touring car races in Europe. He regularly won races despite his disability, and established a reputation as a kind-hearted and generous person, regularly donating his winnings to various children's charities. However, he was also known to become enraged whenever he heard somebody pronounce his name wrong, which can be quite common.

In 2011, he was named as a spokesperson for the children's charity Hope 4 All. He regularly participates in Hope 4 All events, including the annual Hope 4 All Marathon in Chicago, Illinois. He scored 2 wins, 5 top 5s, 9 top 10s, and led 73 laps. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #66 Hope 4 All/Tirade SAAR, from Austria...

Edwin Schwarzloski!!

Congratulations to Edwin Schwarzloski.

As we said before, our 6th place finisher, CJ Cameron, is not here tonight, so we will skip on to #5...

(Road to Nowhere by Talking Heads begins playing...)

ARLA ELITE SERIES 5TH PLACE FINISHER: This driver was formerly a kart driver and touring car driver, but had never set foot in a stock car before. His performance in 2011 certainly didn't show it. A championship contender all season, he just fell short of the Rookie of the Year title, but was very impressive, earning 2 wins, 5 top 5s, 9 top 10s, 1 pole, and led 96 laps. He leaves for the TM Master Cup Series in 2012, driving for Majestic Motorsports. In addition to his points trophy, he also earns the RUBBER-DUB-DUB DRIVER OF THE YEAR award. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #0 Gasnier for Whiper-Ildest Racing, from Nimes, France...

Rene Recarmier!!

(teamwhiper, it's your turn.)

Recamier accepts award

"Wow.I win not one,but 2 award!This..this just amazing for me.My English still bad,but I think you can undestand what I say.It been tough second half of year,taken out by idiot or by mechanical trouble.We still finish high,though.I might return for one-off drive,but for now,this is my goodbye from ARLA.I hope suceed in 2012 and wish my team best.Once again,thank you."

Congratulations to Rene Recarmier.

Moving on, it's time for our #4 finisher, and this guy had the family team and chassis helping him out...

(Ecstasy of Gold by Metallica begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES 4TH PLACE FINISHER: This driver was a former CRL Modified Division competitor and race winner who moved up to the ARLA Elite Series with his family team, Eichholtz Autosport, using their own chassis and engine. Whatever they had going, it worked extremely well in 2011. Even though he didn't win a points event, he still won the exhibition Rookie Shootout at the beginning of the season and earned 25 very valuable championship points, which proved to be the difference in him winning the SMASH BEER ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWARD. He earned 6 top 5s, a staggering 10 top 10s, and led 15 laps. In addition to his points award and rookie of the year award, he also earned the FCA's NITROADE STEALTH BOMBER AWARD. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #231 Bitter Pills Eichholtz E231 for Eichholtz Autosport, from Indianapolis, Indiana...

Jacob Eichholtz!!

(pennst24, it's your turn.)

(All right. Can't wait anymore. Gotta finish this thing up. Sorry, pennst24.)

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Congratulations to Jacob Eichholtz.

It's finally time to award our top 3 finishers, and not surprisingly, they are either M&J or Riggs Motorsports drivers. Here is our #3 finisher...

(Bai Bai Peace by Higuchi Chieko begins playing...)

2011 ARLA ELITE SERIES BRONZE TROPHY FINISHER: Known for her energetic attitude, this driver also had a very nice improvement over the previous two seasons, which earned her the LENDMASTER COMEBACK DRIVER OF THE YEAR AWARD. She had many opportunities to win races, but a mechanical problem or a crash always took her out of contention, otherwise she would probably have 4 or 5 wins. It nearly happened again at Darlington, but with great determination, she muscled her way to the victory. In 2011, she had 1 win, 5 top 5s, 8 top 10s, 3 poles, and led 344 laps, which also earns her the LEADER OF THE PACK AWARD for leading the most laps this season. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the driver of the #65 RoniZone SAAR for M&J Racing, from Morris, Illinois...

Taylor Brillon!!